Its been a long and stressful week, not taking into account today. For today is worser of all because I am down with a terrible head ache on top of all other stresses. In a nut shell the past one week was one of the worst weeks of this year, but also filled with shocking surprises. Let me get over with the worser parts first, I’ll save the surprises for the end.
To begin with, my model exams are over. And no it isn’t a happy news, firstly because it was crappy, secondly because I don’t have study leave. I failed by mere 3 marks in chemistry and hence I was denied study leave. We tried everything from force to tears (force was from my side and tears were from my friends) but our principal was as immovable as the Himalayas. I even made my dad go and talk to him, but he wouldn’t budge. And after much discussion, we decided that we would attend the first day of the class and then take leave for the rest of the days. I came to know that the boys are altogether bunking all classes. That gave me a tiny hope. The management cannot punish the whole lot of 88 students (yeah, that’s the strength of the first years counting all four departments). So with that small consolation, groaning and grumbling to myself I went to college on the first day of my study leave. To my horror all of the boys had turned up. I was – flabbergasted, there is just no other word for it. Talk about chivalry. Shooting daggers at the boys we braced ourselves for the four hour torture that was named mathematics. The boys all looked quite confused to be getting so many glowering looks from us but they ignored it nonetheless and payed rapt attention to the class. That riled me up even more. Half of them don’t attend regular classes properly, and now here they sit like they are the most obedient students and that some how their life depends on the mindless babbling of the maths lecturer.
The after noon was dedicated to chemistry class. The morning was too much for me and I had neither the strength nor the patience for enduring three hours of chemistry. So all of us girls packed our stuffs and made our way back home. And to add to our dismay, the guys had brought their lunch and were planning to attend the afternoon session. Thanks to my infinite patience, I didn’t murder them. But later in the evening I got to know that the guys, after taking their lunch packed up too. Apparently they can’t wait for lunch until they reach home. And no matter what, they follow the college timings to the letter when it comes to food.
So after one week of running up and down from principal’s room to my HOD’s room and to every other staff in the college, finally here I am bunking my coaching classes, completely unaware of its consequences. But it feels good, you know, doing something against the college. It feels good to be able to oppose them, though I am not sure if I would feel equally good when I have to face the consequences of my action.
So moving on, on the last day of May I attended the valedictory function of a summer intensive course that was conducted at my dance class. It was also sort of a farewell gesture, to one of my Best friends and co-student, who is moving to Delhi for pursuing higher studies. Incidentally she came first in the Pondicherry Matriculation 10th examination with a Himalayan score of 493 marks. She is an excellent dancer and obviously very good at academics. The weird part of the function was, after she was honored with a memento most of the people started crying. Even one of our teachers started crying, it seemed as though everyone was crying except for me. And I am supposed to be her Best friend, even her teacher* of sorts. Of course, I don’t deny that I would miss her. I would miss her like hell, nothing would be half as interesting without her around. There wouldn’t be any competition, I would be missing one of my first and finest students*. But some how my tear ducts did not react to these emotions. Thankfully, she knows me too well to expect me to cry. Even when she was soaking my dress with her salty tears, she was perfectly fine with me not returning the gesture. Man, ain’t I glad to have people like that as friends. People who are sane enough to understand that I don’t react the same way they do to all the situations.
Now to the surprises part. I am chosen as the Best Girl at my aforementioned dance class. Technically, its a premier institution for yoga and performing arts, but I learn only dance there and so I keep calling it just dance class. But that's besides the point. The point is that I am their new Best Girl. Best Girl for the year 2009-10. My first reaction when I heard this news was plain shock, with a very thin thread of relief. Relief for being given Best Girl and not boy. Believe me, I have very good reasons and plausible explanations for that. I have been learning dance for the past 8 years or so. I have performed in all of their major products every year since i joined there. And after the first one time, where I played the role of a wife of a sage, I was never trusted with any female role. Up until now, I have played a wide range of roles in various dances, ranging from lord Krishna to lord Shiva to a farmer to king Dhuryodhana. I have been mightily applauded for all these roles, the roles that all but stole the little feminine grace that I was blessed with. This award has actually acknowledged my femininity, and I am immensely thankful to all my teachers for choosing me for this award.
I actually learnt that I am getting this award through the annual report that was mailed to me. I was totally speechless, I double checked and triple checked with everyone I know. I had a very bad feeling that this was some cruel practical joke played on me. I couldn’t be getting this award, I simply don’t deserve it. I confessed my doubts to my teacher, mentor would describe him better. He assured me that it was true and that I deserve it. That, coming from him was a great honor. I was astonished when I heard many of my friends echo the same sentiment. I have been wondering all week, why I felt quite ill at ease to be receiving this award. I finally arrived at an answer. It is because I am not used to people appreciating me for my job. I am so used to being hated by everyone, this sudden love and affection and even trust surprises and shocks me. I am so used to being denied credits for all my works, that this sudden acknowledgment staggers me. But now I am just ecstatic, exhilarated, jubilant....well my English vocabulary seems poorly stocked for describing how I feel. So that’s all for this week, my exams are looming dangerously close in the horizon, I better go and prepare for them.
* We once performed a dance drama that portrayed the life of the Mythical Mahabharata king, Karna. In that drama, I played the role of Lord Krishna and she was Arjuna. According to the story the characters shared a teacher student relationship. And hence from then on she started addressing me as her teacher and I was more than happy to embrace her as my student.
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